Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
