So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
