Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize