Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
