Your favorite bartender is back from prision
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
