Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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