Banned from zoo.
Again?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
