You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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