my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
