His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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