tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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