I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
