I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
