D3 body, D1 cock
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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