please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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