the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Help. Why am I so naked?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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