He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
