Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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