so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
