Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
