the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
