He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
