I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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