the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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