That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
