i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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