my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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