every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
i think my cat just said my name.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My ass is underappreciated
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
