Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
