Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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