I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
