You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
