Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm too high and old for this...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
