I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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