you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
