Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
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