yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
