I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
