It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
zippers are such a cool invention
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Holy shit dude........stairs
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
