I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
