come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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