You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i can't believe i had my finger in that
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
