i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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