I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
