well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
