I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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