very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize