they need to just BURY HIM!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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