apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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