I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
