Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
