Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
