Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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