Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You did what with his pubic hair?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize