sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
