You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
