Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
