Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
