Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
