Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
