Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
