I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
